Yule Blog: Angels on a Loop
Even though Blake has been playing, “Angels We Have Heard On High” on a YouTube loop for the last 9 months in our house, I still hadn't really felt like I was well-seasoned for the upcoming holiday. That was, until a few days ago.
Listen to Blake's Angels on a Loop here:
My guy loves Christmas. My adult autistic son is "all-in" when it comes to this grand finale season of the year. He loves the trees. He loves the carols. He loves the food and all of the twinkling lights. He loves his life-size cardboard image of Elf. He loves the Grinch. But watching Blake year after year, I think he loves the nativity scene with the holy babe in the manger most of all.
However, when it comes to executing the rigorous, unfamiliar schedules, traditions, and the hustle & bustle of Christmas Day...and those Christmas gatherings, he is less enthusiastic. The chaos can be incredibly overstimulating for people on the spectrum like him.
My side of the family has always been loud, rowdy, and boisterous. We put together a grand buffet of foods and revel in overfilled plates with plenty of jesting. If everyone shows up to Christmas this year, there will be a crowd size of over 60 noisemakers.
A few years ago, Blake told us that he didn’t want to attend this party.
Now, with our annual Christmas reunion just weeks away, I’m already wondering if he is going to be willing to even attempt to try again this year. In all honesty, I have my doubts.
For the first time, and parting from tradition, our family will not be celebrating at our homestead farm. This year, it will be held by my brother & sister-in-law who offered to have it at their house. They just completed a gorgeous room addition to accommodate their own growing brood. It promises to be the perfect space for our family.
Nevertheless, this party also promises to be a churning vortex of excitement.
"What if it’s too much? What if all the littles squeal and scream, as children always do? What if Blake is having an "off" day? What if he gets triggered? Will they notice if he hides out to recollect himself? Will we need to leave early?" These are the kind of questions we parents of sensory kids find ourselves basting in long before December arrives.
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If I’m being honest, there are a lot of us autism parents who dread holiday parties. Our child’s schedule is off, the expectations are high, and there are a lot of challenges when we take our unique child into someone else’s home. (Also, those family pictures are brutal!)
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Though I had never uttered a word of these thoughts out loud, my sister-in-law nonchalantly mentioned something to me in passing just a few days ago:
“We have a space ready for Blake if he needs to take a break.”
My heart went, DING! DING! DING!
She had unknowingly uttered the words that every parent of a sensory kid needs, wants, and longs to hear. Her words reassured me that he BELONGS there, no matter how he chooses to participate. I'm not sure that she realized how my heart soared when she shared.
No, it may not be executed perfectly. (Lofty holiday expectations can be the thief of joy.) But, people who accept our kids are like angels here on earth bringing some comfort and joy to apprehensive parent hearts like ours. The people who set the tone and make space for our kids, no matter what kind of challenges that may present, make the biggest difference.
Time will tell if he is going to be willing to accept the challenge of running the gauntlet of tradition this Christmas. But whatever may come, we know there is a place ready & waiting for him if he chooses to do so. And this Mama-heart is forever thankful.
“Gloria, in excelsis Deo,” indeed.
What a gift your SIL offered you! Sounds as though you have a joy-filled family, and I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas together.