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  • Writer's pictureJ. J. LeVan


“Mom. Trouble. Toilet. Nasty!”


I trudged my way to that overflowing fountain as any mother would, but on the inside, little fireworks twinkled in my soul. You may not think these would be words that I was longing to hear. But, on his 25-year autism journey my, once non-verbal, son has had to build up to this point, step by step. My heart knew that his communication of this essential information was a murky, unexpected answer to my prayer and a sign of great progress!

Although our home team is still needing way more than just “plunging support,” I'm finding myself needing to expand my caregiver resume a bit more lately. In the past few weeks, we have discovered that one of our parents needs significantly more help than usual.

My mother will be 88 soon. We found ourselves in the ER with her a few days ago. She is usually spry and has all the sass of an unruly teenager, but sweeter. Just before the emergency event, she'd been giving us a piece of her mind when we discussed tracking her unpredictable whereabouts on her phone. She has vehemently stated, “I don’t WANT you to know where I am!” Although I’m thankful for her agility AND desire for independence, she can be a little scary!

Meanwhile, we are finding some of our empty nest flyers learning that soaring is more challenging than expected. Our adult kids are struggling with pregnancies, becoming new homeowners, planning weddings, and coming to terms with toilet paper prices.

Also, whatever is going on with my flushed, 50-something-year-old body is requiring a lot of patience. Keeping my head above all of these swirling waters can be difficult.

As we caregivers concentrate our efforts on our appointed task of providing care for our SPECIAL ones, we can find ourselves emotionally underwater trying to provide enough effective care for our OTHER loved ones when they are struggling. It is hard to come up for air and focus on how we can best encourage “the others” without sinking to the bottom.

This verse is currently playing on a loop in my heart, as I seek to find God’s loving balance in the deep:

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” Isaiah 26:3-4 ESV

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Beautiful words 💝


Thank you, Jane! I'm so glad you are on here!



Oh what a journey! My son was not autistic but ADHD, a child = to 5 manic kids running amok. Any step towards communication is awesome. One parent said, 'all behavior is an attempt at communication.' This really struck me and resonated.

Though I didn't have an autistic child, my boss did, and his daughter (with Down's and autism) came to the clinic frequently. She had disabilities but boy was she smart. She could reprogram a computer for her Barbie games only. Unscrambling it took a professional IT group. She was acutely aware of her Down's and autism, that she was different from other kids "and why!" So when she started her menses, she just looked at her parents like,…

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